Posted by: amyedwards | February 11, 2008

Part 2 – My Journey

So, obviously if you haven’t read Part 1, go back to the post before this one and read it first.  Now, for the rest of the story. . .

Let me tell you other benefits to getting rid of the TV.  We are really enjoying the extra family time we have.  It has been so nice sitting in the floor with the kids working on puzzles, Legos, reading, etc.  Not to mention Chanch and I get to bed earlier these days too!  Once you get rid of TV, it’s amazing to see how much time you have now that you thought you never had!  Thank you, God!  I’m not saying it’s for everyone, but it is definitely what God wants for my family at this time while I do some work on self-discipline!

So I’ve figured out my weight, now it’s time to work on the besetting sin.   As I’ve said in the past, until this sermon series, I’ve thought guilt is my besetting sin.  But since guilt isn’t one of the five, which one does it fall under?  I was thinking it must be fear.  But, to be honest, I’m not afraid of much.  The only thing I could ever think of was rejection.  Yes, I know that’s a big fear, but enough to daily beset me?  I continued to pray about it, hoping to find out where guilt fits in.  During my new-found daily quiet time, I was reviewing the messages from Sunday along with all of the Scripture references, but after I finished doing that, I wasn’t sure what to do.  At this same time, one of my husband’s friends said his wife was starting a new Bible study on Thursday nights in her home and she wanted me to come.  Turns out, it was Beth Moore’s Breaking Free study.  How ironic is that?  I had always thought that study was geared more toward addictions or past trauma, etc.  Little did I know, it’s much more about strongholds or besetting sins.  And let me tell you, I couldn’t enjoy it more.  It’s a great study and it’s just what I need as I commit to daily quiet time.  Can you see how God is working here?  And, even better, Sunday’s sermons and my Bible study aren’t even repetitive.  So far, they have both had totally different Scripture references, different Biblical examples, etc.

Anyway, one of the daily studies was on Pride.  I started it that morning thinking maybe I would learn something I could share with my husband:)  I finished it completely under conviction and pretty certain that pride is my besetting sin.  At the end of the day’s study, Beth asks you to humble yourself to God and ask Him what He wants you to do with what you learned that day.  As I was praying, God began to reveal to me just how prideful I am.  My ability to “tell people what I think” – Pride.  The Bible says Pride stirs up contention!  My ability to forgive only after you’ve heard me out – Pride.  My criticism of others – Pride.  My judgmental attitude – Pride.  Even  my domination of a conversation – Pride.  Ouch!  And my pastor says this is the most dangerous one!!!

So the next day I was talking to my accountability partner about it all.  She asked me where did I think “guilt” came into that.  I told her I didn’t know.  So I started asking God during my prayer time.  That Thursday, at my Bible study, a lady told us that her pastor had said, “Pride is not just thinking highly of yourself, it’s thinking often of yourself.”  That’s me.  I don’t sit around thinking highly of myself, but just the opposite when I allow guilt to control me.  So there you have it – Pride!  But God and I are working on it.  And now that I know what to look for, I see it much more clearly. 

So, I’m sorry these past posts have been so long, but there was so much I wanted to say.  I’ve been really overwhelmed with emotion these past few weeks.  It has been so exciting to see how the Lord and I are truly developing a relationship.  I love it when He shows me something or answers my specific prayer for wisdom or understanding about something, and I know He’s talking to me!  Sound elementary?  Yes, but I started this journey a month ago praying for a hunger and thirst for Him, something more than an item to mark off my daily “to do” list, and He has given me just that!

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Responses

  1. What a beautiful testimony! I am truly inspired by he wonderful move of God in your family. Thanks for sharing it and keep sharing the goodness of God as he continues to work in your family. By the Way, you’ve been tagged, and it’s an interesting one this time. Come and visit me soon.

  2. Wow! Great post, Amy. It’s goint to be exciting to see what God has in store for you!

  3. Ooooh. Interesting definition of pride. I’m not sure I like that definition, by the way. 🙂

  4. My first stop by…I so enjoyed reading this two part post about your newfound relationship with the Lord. You spoke right to my heart in the ‘pride’ department.

    I would type even more about how ‘I’ was moved, but out of fear that my pride will ramble, just know I was blessed.

    I will return!

    Blessings to you!!

    Joanne


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