My Journey – Part 1

If I’m posting in parts now, you know I must have a lot to say.  Truth is, I do and even as I’m typing, I have no idea how I’m going to condense everything I want to say.  I’ve held off on blogging about this for the past couple of weeks, waiting to be able to tell it all.  But, as it should be, each day brings something new and if I don’t go ahead and start, it’ll never get written!  Here goes:

I was saved at a very young age.  I grew up in church, in fact I am a preacher’s kid.  So, at the age of 34, I have a pretty good amount of biblical knowledge.  I’ve probably heard the  majority of Bible stories, told in all different ways, several times.  I’ve said before that the religion I grew up under is, in my opinion, more about religion and rules and regulations than about relationship.  This wasn’t just in our home, but we were obviously in a church that was legalistic and the same in our Christian school  (2nd thru 12th grade).  We were to be at church each time the doors were opened (regardless of anything), dress a certain way, only listen to certain music, etc.  I was taught to have a quiet time, but more out of a “it’s the right thing to do” rule, instead of “you’ll develop an intimate love relationship with the Lord”.  I’ve gone through brief periods of time where I would start reading my Bible and praying, but I didn’t have that hunger and thirst for it because it was just another rule, so it was  by no means consistent at any time. 

Let me pause here to say that while I grew up under that “teaching”, I take full responsibility that at age 34, I’m just now getting the truth.  You see, had I consistently had that quiet time, God would have showed me the truth of His Word.  The Bible has always been at my disposal.  I’ve had to ask His forgiveness. 

Thankfully, the church I am now a member of is not that way.  And this is where my journey begins.  About a month or so ago, our pastor began a series on Besetting Sins.  In the first week, he very adamantly made the statement that you cannot be in the will of God if you are not in the Word of God.  I knew the Holy Spirit was talking to me.  My pastor went on to talk about Hebrews 12:1 where we are to lay aside the weight (good things in our life that are out of balance) and the sin that so easily besets us (fear, pride, unforgiveness, lust and greed).  I left church that day determined to get in the Word.  I also began thinking about my priorities.  What good thing is out of balance?  I contemplated that maybe it was my husband and children, although I had trouble seeing that.  What else could it be?

At this same time, my husband had asked me to take a look at our budget and see where we could cut cost at home.  Well, one look and the answer was clear.  We were paying approximately $150 a month for TV.   (Yes, I’m embarrassed to even say it!)  If that sounds impossible, please understand that we had a great number of channels, including NFL Access, as well as a high definition DVR we were leasing from the satellite company.  So, there’s your $150.  Anyway, my husband and I agreed to get rid of the satellite.  Little did I know (but God did), that in doing so I would be laying aside my weight.  The very next Sunday during the continuation of the sermon series and after just a week with no TV and daily time with the Lord (which I had more time for now), the Lord began to show me that my lack of self-discipline with TV among other things was weighing me down.  See, I watched waaaaay too much TV.  Even if I wasn’t watching, it was on for background noise.  And if I sat down to watch, I could always find something that interest me (especially with that many channels:))  It was amazing to me how the Lord began to really speak to me and not just in my devoted quiet time.  I really believe that my constant background noise and TV viewing covered up the voice of the Lord.  I needed to be still and hear from Him.  And, believe me, I’ve heard plenty. 

So, for fear that this post gets sooooo long that no one will take time to read it, I’m going to stop here and finish later.  I’m bursting at the seams to tell you all that God is teaching me about Himself and me and how exciting it is, so you won’t have to wait long – I promise!  And for those of you who know me and are thinking she has lost her mind – I haven’t, it’s just set on things above:)